


Messy Messages

by SpaceDadStatus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Character, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Cuddling & Snuggling, Demisexual Pidge, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Matt Holt, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Human Allura (Voltron), Human Coran (Voltron), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Klance flirts, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lesbian Allura (Voltron), M/M, Memes, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, but isn't happening yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 00:58:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15449817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceDadStatus/pseuds/SpaceDadStatus
Summary: holtage: takashi shirogane get your cute ass in here before i cut the head off your pillow petTakashit: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, MATTHEW HOLT!pidgeon: what did i just walk intoTakashit: Your brother being abusive.ByeByeBi: MATT DONT MURDER CHASEdepresso: I AM AT W O RKByeByeBi: get over it, my chemical romancedepresso: understandable, have a nice day.ヽ(´∀｀ヽ)UPDATES ON SATURDAYS





	1. Chat 1

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of these lovely conversations are taken straight from my own conversations.  
> Many of Pallura 1on1 convos will be verbatim from mine and my boyfriend's and or my bestfriend's so be prepared.
> 
> ALSO! I know that Shiro was with Adam, so most people are completely abandoning all other Shiro ships, but Miro is my absolute FAVORITE ships in this fandom, you all can get over it. 
> 
> Also. Keith says something about "telling mom" in this. I have Krolia listed as a character and she is the best mom, so she is Keith's mother.  
> Since we have no info (as of season 6) about Shiro's family, I am making Krolia that kind of person who has mentally adopted Shiro as well. 
> 
> So every time Keith refers to mom and when Shiro refers to mom (he will normally just say Krolia) they are both talking about Krolia. 
> 
> EVERYONE WILL PROBABLY BE E X T R E M E L Y OOC AND I KNOW THAT!!!! For the sake of my own enjoyment and humor, I am not super worried about how they act being IC. I'm sorry if you don't like that, but it is how I prefer to write this story. 
> 
> Now that I have ranted for 10000000 years. Here's Messy Messages! I hope it makes you laugh reading it as much as it has made me laugh writing it.
> 
>  
> 
> PS!!!!! Here is the characters with their usernames! (This will be in every chapter and updated as it changes)
> 
> holtage: Matt  
> Takashit: Shiro  
> pidgeon: Pidge  
> LesbeHonest: Allura  
> BiBiBye: Lance  
> depresso: Keith  
> SpicyMustache: Coran  
> Maui: Hunk
> 
> Shay, Alfor, and Krolia will all be added in the chat in later chapters.

**[6:47 A.M]  
NASA REJECTS**

****holtage:**  **takashi shirogane get your cute ass in here before i cut the head off your pillow pet

**Takashit:**  DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, MATTHEW HOLT!

**pidgeon:**  what did i just walk into

**Takashit:** Your brother being abusive. 

**ByeByeBi:** MATT DONT MURDER CHASE

**depresso:** I AM AT W O RK

**ByeByeBi:**  get over it, my chemical romance

**depresso:** understandable, have a nice day. 

**pidgeon:**  hey keith, ill be at altea in 20. make me my coffee. 

**depresso:** yes, captain. 

**Takashit:**  Matt, if you hurt Chase, I'll kill you. 

**holtage:**  then come on. i have work in an hour and i wanna kiss you

**pidgeon:**  nasty

**ByeByeBi:**  GET THAT DICK MATT

**depresso:**  can we not talk about my brothers sex life, please

**pidgeon:**  seconded

**LesbeHonest:**  What is happening here, do I need to call Coran?

**pidgeon:**  lura!!! help, matts talking about fucking shiro

**holtage:** am not. i said i wanted to kiss him, lance started the fuck talk. 

**ByeByeBi:** guilty. 

**Maui:** Woah, did Shiro say "fucking"?

**depresso** : I HAVE SCREENSHOTS IM TELLING MOM

**Takashit** : Matt was threatening Chase I found it neshaihloda

**pidgeon** : hes dead

**depresso** : bye shiro

**ByeByeBi** : bye shiro

**LesbeHonest** : Bye, Shiro

**Maui** : bye shiro

_{ **LesbeHonest**  added  **SpicyMustache**  to the chat!}_

**SpicyMustache** : Goodbye, Shiro!

**holtage** : bye shiro

**Takashit** : Matt tackled me and smothered me with Chase.

**pidgeon** : thats my brother!!!

**LesbeHonest** : That's my partner's brother!!!

**Takashit** : I fucking hate you all. 

**ByeByeBi** : he said it again!!!

**depresso** : IM TELLINF MOM 

**Takashit** : What did I do in my past life to deserve this?

**depresso** : damnit, mom said shes proud of you for finally cursing. 

**holtage** : THATS MY FIANCE 

**ByeByeBi** : this is biphobic. 

 

**[7:02 A.M]  
NASA REJECTS**

**depresso** : pidge come get your coffee you piece of fuck. 

**LesbeHonest** : You watch your fuck, Set It Off. 

**ByeByeBi** : THATS MY THING LURA

**ByeByeBi** : you watch your fuck, set it off

**Maui** : Oh! Good one, Lance!

**ByeByeBi** : <3

**pidgeon** : be there in 2

**depresso** : you better be

**Takashit** : This chat name is incorrect. Matt, Coran, and I all work at NASA, so were obviously not rejects. 

**holtage** : and the rest of you ( except lura ) are in school to work at NASA

**SpicyMostache** : I agree, it is rather inaccurate. 

**ByeByeBi** : TODOROKI IS HOT GUYS

**depresso** : aaaand lance is watching BNHA again. 

**Takashit** : Continue ignoring me, that's fine. 

**Maui** : Lance, c'mon man. 

**holtage** : you better not be watching anything new. you betta hope me n pidge dont find out you watched season 3 without us. 

**depresso** : HA! you still haven't started it yet?

**ByeByeBi** : matt wont let me. 

**depresso** : ew. 

**ByeByeBi** : shut the fuck up, SayWeCanFly

**depresso** : IT WAS ONE SONG. HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP BEYONCE 

**Takashit** : I'M TELLING MOM, KEITH!

**depresso** : im gonna pour hot coffee on myself i swear 

**ByeByeBi** : oooh you think im like beyonce, huh keith?

**pidgeon** : suck my dick lance

**ByeByeBi** : WHYR UOU ON HIS SIDE YOU LITTLE ANKLE BITER

**LesbeHonest** : I will end you, Lance. 

**ByeByeBi** : id be honored to be killed by you princess ;)

**pidgeon** : im gonna join you keith

**Maui** : Yeah, I think I will too

**Takashit** : Seconded

**holtage** : thirded

**ByeByeBi** : is that a thing?

**holtage** : is now, bitch

**ByeByeBi** : understandable, have a nice day. 

**[9:35 A.M]**

_**{depresso** changedthechatnameto **low budget production!}**_

 

**depresso** : pidge has been sitting on the counter roasting me for 20 minutes, allura come get your grimlin

**pidgeon** : he tried to text me "fuck you" and sent "fuck toy" instead so i said that lance was his fuck toy and while he stuttered i said "wait youre both bottoms neither of you are gonna get laid" he tried to push me off the counter

**pidgeon** : allura help me

**depresso** : ill have you know i am /NOT/ a bottom ask rolo if you dick twitches dont believe me 

**BiBiBye** : YPU FIUCJED ROLO!?!?!?!?!

**LesbeHonest** : Congratulations, Keith. You finally broke Lance. 

**BiBiBye** : WHAT WHERN DHID HTIS HAPPIEDN WHAT IS HIUNG OS HFBKSHUHFKLJSKJGKFJLKSGFJGJLJHG

**holtage** : take your time honey

**Takashit** : Really, Keith. We've talked about this. 

**depresso** : we did not. 

 

**[10:02 A.M]**

**LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION**

 

**BiBiBye** : This is Allura. I am physically worried about Lance. He is lying face down on the kitchen floor, murmuring something. Should I call an ambulance?

**pidgeon** : no just call ronnie. 

**BiBiBye** : I'll keep you all updated. 

**holtage** : damn, you really did break him keith. 

**Maui** : WHAT DID YOU DO TO LANCE KEITH!

**depresso** : oops someones at the counter, gotta go. 

**pidgeon** : yeah i should move. gotta blast!

**BiBiBye** : GET BACK HERE YOU ME AT SIX

**SpicyMustache** : Lance is back! 


	2. Chat 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be added yesterday, that's why they say Lance's birthday is tomorrow. There will be 2 updates today. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> PS!!!!! Here is the characters with their usernames! (This will be in every chapter and updated as it changes)
> 
> holtage: Matt  
> Takashit: Shiro  
> cawcawmotherfucker: Pidge  
> LesbeHonest: Allura  
> BiBiBye: Lance  
> depresso: Keith  
> SpicyMustache: Coran  
> Maui: Hunk  
> A(shay)med: Shay  
> SpaceMom: Krolia  
> AlforOne: Alfor
> 
> (I'm not creative with these usernames I'm so sorry)

**[10:10 A.M]**

**LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION**

**BiBiBye** : im creating a kickstarter to put keith down

_**{pidgeon** has changed their name to **cawcawmotherfucker!}**_

**cawcawmotherfucker** : awe, did him fucking rolo make little lancey jealous?

**depresso** : leave him alone before i eat your donut, grimlin

**cawcawmotherfucker** : raincheck lance. 

**Takashit** : Why are my children so disrespectful?

**Maui** : SHIRO AGREES WE'RE HIS CHILDREN THIS IS A MOMENTOUS DAY  

**holtage** : what did you do, babe. 

**Takashit** : I don't think before I speak. 

**LesbeHonest** : PIDGE LANCE KEITH GET IN HERE BEFORE HE DELETES THE MESSAGE

**BiBiBye** : I GOT SS SHIRO YOU CANT DENY IT ANYMORE

**Takashit** : I'm too old for this. 

**depresso** : ur 28, thats not old. 

**SpicyMustache** : Alfor, Krolia and I are old. Shiro, you are young!

**SpicyMustache** : We should add them to this chat! Allura, I would do it myself but I don't exactly know how.

**depresso** : oh god plesse dpnt add mom, lura. ive said some things she shouldnr see. 

**LesbeHonest** : That is a wonderful idea, Coran. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : and here i thought you loved me lura. 

**LesbeHonest** : Sorry, love. 

_**{LesbeHonest** has added **SpaceMom** and **AlforOne** to the chat! **}**_

**depresso** : hey... mom...

**SpaceMom** : What is this. 

**AlforOne** : I think this is the chat Allura has been talking about. Right, Coran?

**SpicyMustache** : Correct!

**Maui** : I'm adding Shay. She can help. 

**BiBiBye** : please. i dont think i can handle this many adults in this chat. pidge kick them

**holtage** : if you dont i will

**LesbeHonest** : How rude! Pidge, you will do none of the sort and Matt. 

**holtage** : yes ma'am?

**LesbeHonest** : I know where you live. 

_**{Maui** hasadded **A(shay)med** tothechat **!}**_

**A(shay)med** : Hello, lovely people! How is everyone's morning!

**depresso** : shay just made this 20000 times better. i can almost forget about my helicopter mother in the chat

**SpaceMom** : Keith Kogane, I am still here. 

**BiBiBye** : GET HIM SPACE MOM!!!!

**Takashit** : I'm too old for this. 

**AlforOne** : I am 20 years older than you, Shiro. You are not old. 

**Takashit** : I'm going to take a nap, I can't handle this. Matt, come join me. 

**holtage** : gladly!!!!

**cawcawmotherfucker** : ew. 

**Maui** : Awe

**A(shay)med** : Awe!

**BiBiBye** : ew

**depresso** : ew

**LesbeHonest** : Ew

**SpicyMustache** : Awe! How cute!

**SpaceMom** : That's just like your father and I, Keith. How cute. 

**depresso** : im going to drown myself in the donut glaze. 

**depresso** : pidge come hold my head down. make sure i dont live. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : i would be honored keith. 

**AlforOne** : What is happening here?

**Maui** : None of us know. 

**LesbeHonest** : Welcome to the chat, Father!

 

**[4:37 P.M]**

**LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION**

 

**AlforOne** : Can someone please remove me from this chat? Allura has informed me that my phone plan is not able to support group conversations. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : i can

**AlforOne** : Oh! Thank you, Pidge!

**cawcawmotherfucker** : no problem at all. is dinner still on?

**AlforOne** : Our door is always open for you, child!

**cawcawmotherfucker** : amazing. thank you. 

**AlforOne** : Of course! Bye for now, Pidge!

**cawcawmotherfucker** : bye <3

_{ **cawcawmotherfucker**  has kicked  **AlforOne**  from the chat!} _

**depresso** : what in the fresh fuck was that

**SpaceMom** : Watch your mouth, Keith. 

**depresso** : OH SO YOU PRAISE SHIRO AND SCOLD ME!?!?!

**Takashit** : Get over it, kid. 

**depresso** : dont call me kid takashi shirogane 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : that is me being domestic. youll get it one day keith

**BiBiBye** : im not drunk enough for this. 

**Takashit** : IT IS 4:46 LANCE MCCLAIN

**BiBiBye** : its 5 oclock somewhere. and my birthday is tomorrow keith gave me a free pass. 

**BiBiBye** : so did lura and hunk. 

**Maui** : That's true

**LesbeHonest** : Also correct. 

**depresso** : i wanted to drink, theyre chaperoning us. 

**SpaceMom** :  Keith.

**depresso** : I AM 21 I CAN DRINK AT 4 IN THE AFTERNOON IF I WANT TOO MOM

**SpaceMom** : Fine. 

**depresso** : FINE

**holtage** : im too old for this. 

**BiBiBye** : UR 25 MATT WHAT THE FUCK

**SpaceMom** : /I'm/ too old for this. 

**depresso** : alright. who explained the slashes to krolia

**cawcawmotherfucker** : gotta blast

**depresso** : allura. i suggest you come control your grimlin

**LesbeHonest** : I think we all know they cannot be controlled at this point

**cawcawmotherfucker** : this is why im dating u lura n not keith

**depresso** : im practically your brother, thats why. 

**holtage** : i agree. 

**BiBiBye** : im gonna go get hammered. 

**depresso** : seconded

**Takashit** : Why do I put up with you all. 


	3. Chat 3 (Happy Borfday Lonce)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {depresso changed the chat name to HABUY BIRYDAU LANVW!!!}
> 
> cawcawmotherfucker: oh god. hes wasted.
> 
> Takashit: It's not even his birthday yet, Keith. 
> 
> depresso: doed iet look liek i ccare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my baby's birthday. This is a BIT LATE! So i just changed the date. 
> 
> It's super short because I had to pump something out for my Sharpshooters birthday.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> PS!!!!! Here is the characters with their usernames! (This will be in every chapter and updated as it changes)
> 
> holtage: Matt  
> Takashit: Shiro  
> cawcawmotherfucker: Pidge  
> LesbeHonest: Allura  
> birthdaybitch, Sharpshooter: Lance  
> depresso: Keith  
> SpicyMustache: Coran  
> Maui: Hunk  
> A(shay)med: Shay  
> SpaceMom: Krolia  
> Alfor: Alfor

**[9:58 P.M]**

_**{depresso** changed the chat name to **HABUY BIRYDAU LANVW!!!}**_

**cawcawmotherfucker** : oh god. hes wasted. 

**Takashit** : It's not even his birthday yet, Keith. 

**depresso** : doed iet look liek i ccare

_**{BiBiBye** has changed their name to **birthdaybitch!}**_

**birthdaybitch** : alura helpef me chsnge hte nake

**cawcawmotherfucker** : oh my GOD THIS IS GOLD

**LesbeHonest** : I apologize for the interruption, Hunk and I thought this was too funny for you all to miss out on. 

**Maui** : They're both lying on the couch with a bottle of vodka watching a movie. 

**SpaceMom** : Pictures or it didn't happen. 

**Takashit** : Krolia!

**SpaceMom** : What? I'm making up for lost times. 

**holtage** : theyre gonna kill you all when theyre sober. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : hunk please send pictures. 

**LesbeHonest** : Update. Hunk has joined them and they are now all three cuddled on the couch watching Mary and the Witch's Flower. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : im coming over right now. i love that movie and i cant miss out on this. whos house are you at

**LesbeHonest** : Mine, love. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : great. be there in 10

 

**[12:21 A.M]**

**HABUY BIRYDAU LANVW!!!  
**

**holtage** : happy /actual/ birthday, lance. 

**Takashit** : Happy birthday, Lance. 

**cawcawmotherfucker** : happy borthday, sharpshooter. 

**LesbeHonest** : Happy birthday, Lance. We're all so proud of you. 

**SpicyMustache** : Happy birthday, my boy!

**Maui** : Happy birthday, bud!

**A(shay)med:**  Happy birthday!!!! We love you, Lance!!!

**SpaceMom** : Happy birthday, honey. 

**LesbeHonest** : Alright. Goodnight, everyone. We're having a party at 1 this afternoon.

**Takashit** : We couldn't miss it even if we tried. 

 

**[6:25 A.M]**

**Alfor - >  Sharpshooter**

**Alfor** : Happy birthday, Lance. I hope you have a spectacular day. 


	4. Chat 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maui: oh my god
> 
> Maui: oh.my.GOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. Super short but I wanted to get something out. The next chapter is just a conversation I had yesterday with my brother and his friends so it will be easy to type. Enjoy
> 
> PS!!!!! Here is the characters with their usernames! (This will be in every chapter and updated as it changes)
> 
> holtage: Matt  
> Takashit: Shiro  
> cawcawmotherfucker: Pidge  
> LesbeHonest: Allura  
> birthdaybitch, Sharpshooter: Lance  
> depresso: Keith  
> SpicyMustache: Coran  
> Maui: Hunk  
> Ashaymed: Shay  
> SpaceMom: Krolia

**[2:53 A.M]**

**HABUY BIRYDAU LANVW!!!**

 

 **Maui** : oh my god

 **Maui** : oh.my.GOD

 **Maui** : ALLURA! PLEASE COME HELP ME. PIDGE IS LAYING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR VOMITING INTO THE BATHTUB I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

 **LesbeHonest** : WHAT!!!!!

 **LesbeHonest** : IM ON MY WAY RIGHT NOW

 **holtage** : WHAT DID THEY DO ARE THEY OKAY

 **Maui** : THEY DRANK 3 LA CRIOX, ATE 2 BOXES OF POKEMON GUMMES, DRANK A BOX OF CAPRI SUNS, AND ATE A WHOLE BOX OF SALTINE CRACKERS AND CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE INSISTING I CALL THEIR PARENTS THEN RAN TO THE BATHROOM AND STARTED JUST THROWING UP I AM FREAKING OUT. ARE THE G

 **birthdaybitch** : hunk? where'd you go, man

 **depresso** : is pidge okay

 **LesbeHonest** : I think they will be okay. Hunk just let me in. Matt, Shiro, I'm going to take them to my house to watch them, tell Colleen and Sam for me?

 **Takashit** : Of course.

 **holtage** : yes

 **Maui** : I am really sorry for scaring everyone, I was just panicking over here.

 **AShaymed** : It is okay, Hunk. We're just glad everything is alright.

 **birthdaybitch** : ya. its good hunk. but now that I know pidge is okay I'm going back to bed

 **depresso** : yeah same.

 **LesbeHonest** : I'll update you at a more reasonable hour. Pidge left their phone at their apartment so they'll be updating off my phone until I go and get it. See you all in the morning!

 **Maui** : Night, 'Lura

 **AShaymed** : Goodnight.

 **Takashit** : Matt and I say goodnight as well, 'Lura. Sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also based off real life events. I would prefer not to say which one of these was me, though...


	5. chat 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is extremely short but I panicked cause I only have 100 words written for killer in the mirror which updates tomorrow and I completely forgot to update young and menace so I have to work on that too. 
> 
> anyway. enjoy.
> 
> PS!!!!! Here is the characters with their usernames! (This will be in every chapter and updated as it changes)
> 
> holtage: Matt  
> Takashit: Shiro  
> cawcawmotherfucker: Pidge  
> LesbeHonest: Allura  
> birthdaybitch, lancelot: Lance  
> depresso: Keith  
> SpicyMustache: Coran  
> Maui: Hunk  
> Ashaymed: Shay  
> SpaceMom: Krolia

**[2:48 A.M]**

 

**_HABUY BIRYDAU LANVW!!!_ **

**_{depresso_ ** _changed the chat name to **adventures on amazon!}**_

**cawcawmotherfucker** : keith,,,,,,

 **depresso** : i just bought 16 poetry books and kosmo a new bed cause he fucked his up.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : keith,,,,,

 **depresso** : hah. bye bye paycheck.

 **birthdybitch** : keith what the actual fuck. it is 3am

 **birthdaybitch** : wait

**_{birthdaybitch_ ** _changed their name to **lancelot!}**_

**lancelot** : tbh im not surprised actually.

 **lancelot** : oh wait! pidge is back!

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : i snuck out an hour ago to get my last la croix and my phone cause we didn’t go yesterday.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : wait. lura don’t read that i 100% did not drink another la croix or sneak out. beezer 100% brought me my phone at 3 am…

 **depresso** : youre just digging yourself deeper pigeon.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : stfu dick sucker

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : at least I didn’t just spend 3 paychecks on amazon

 **lancelot** : hwo much did all that cost anyway keith.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : hwo

 **depresso** : like 300 dollars

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : i should get a job if it means i can blow 300 dollars on amazon at 3am without a second thought.

 **depresso** : it was an impulse I probably wont have power for a few days

 **depresso** : i mean,,,,,, i totally have enough to pay my bills this month

 **lancelot** : we just witnessed both keith and pidge forget about people who will chew them out for the dumb shit they do in the chat.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : do you want your nudes to be leaked lance. i think you forget sometimes that i am an expert hacker

 **lancelot** : people would be blessed to see my nudes.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : your middle school photos then.

 **lancelot** : you wouldn’t

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : oh i would.

 **lancelot** : mmmmmmmmmmmm i mean pidge never does anything stupid they are the smartest and most amazing person in this chat and i love them more than i love garlic knots.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : that’s what i thought.

 **depresso** : what the FUCk just happened here.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : blackmail.

 **depresso** : im impressed.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : you should be.

 **depresso** : im also slightly afraid

 **lancelot** : YOU SHOULD BE.


	6. chat 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda short too, sorry boys. anyway. it was fun so here.
> 
>  
> 
> PS!!!!! Here is the characters with their usernames! (This will be in every chapter and updated as it changes)
> 
> holtage: Matt  
> Takashit: Shiro  
> cawcawmotherfucker, pigeot: Pidge  
> LesbeHonest: Allura  
> lancelot: Lance  
> depresso, arthoe: Keith  
> SpicyMustache: Coran  
> Maui: Hunk  
> Ashaymed: Shay  
> SpaceMom: Krolia

**8:55 A.M  
ADVENTURES ON AMAZON**

**depresso** : im getting a tattoo yall.

 **takashit** : you’re what.

 **depresso** : you can read shiro don’t be dense

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : oooo i want a tattoo

 **holtage** : maybe no. mom would actually execute me

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : stfu matt no one cares about you. allura can i get a tattoo

 **holtage** : YOU CANT ASK YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHE HAS A BIAS OPINION

 **lesbehonest** : pidge no

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : WHAT THAT FUCK LURA

 **depresso** : okay enough domestic arguing. someones coming with me to the shop. first come first serve unless its my mom or shiro.

 **lancelot** : oooo i get to watch you be in pain.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : goddamnit lance.

 **lancelot** : what can i say. im a master of the lurk

 **depresso** : damnit lance i should have included you in the exceptions list

 **lancelot** : too late now, paramore

 **holtage** : paramore isn’t even an emo band anymore lance

 **lancelot** : shup up matt.

 **maui** : lance.

 **lancelot** : don’t you dare say what i think you are, hunk.

 **maui** : weren’t you singing rose-colored boy last night?

 **lancelot** : hunk why

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : yeah while you were showering. i could hear it downstairs.

 **lancelot** : i expected thos from pidge but no yuou hunk

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : can you maybe spell lance

 **lancelot** : cna yuo myaeb suht hte fkuc pu pdieg

 **depresso** : lance stop or im taking pidge with me.

 **depresso** : actually pidge can come anyway i need someone to make sure he doesn’t break something while were there.

 **cawcawmotherfucker** : were getting pizza after if im having to baby sit lance.

 **depresso** : sounds good to me.

 **lancelot** : idontneedtobebabysat

 **maui** : yes you do.

 **takashit** : yes, you do.

 **holtage** : yes you do

 **lesbehonest** : yes you do

 **spacemom** : yes you do

 **spicymustache** : sorry my boy. but yes, you do.

 **lancelot** : BETRAYAL OF THE MASTER DEGREE

 

 

**arthoe - > ** **pigeot**

**arthoe** : you still have that tattoo i secretly designed for you for your birthday

 **pigeot** : the binary one?

 **arthoe** : yeah.

 **pigeot** : of course. why.

 **arthoe** : bring it. heres the rest of your present

 **pidgeot** : THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MATT KEITH

 **arthoe** : keep it a secret. but you deserve it.

 **pigeot** : that was cheesy.

 **arthoe** : i know.

 **pigeot** : alright emo. ill bring it. youre the best.

 **arthoe** : i know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh. pidges tattoo is "holt" in binary which is  
> 01101000 01101111 01101100 01110100 0001010 0001010
> 
> thats based off a tattoo one of my friends has which says "your opinion is invalid" in binary that she got sometime last year. hers is pretty big, which the amount of binary so I wanted pidge's smaller and since they love their fam. I got their last name. 
> 
> (this is how long my friends is, btw) ( 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01110000 01101001 01101110 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110110 01100001 01101100 01101001 01100100 )


	7. AUTHOR NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!! :)

Hey, everyone. So, you may have noticed that I haven't been posting much of anything on this site at the moment, and I apologize for that. I could throw a whole bunch of bullshit reasons at you (school, family issues, mental and physical health issues, so on) but the main reason is this. 

Currently, all of my stories are Voltron related because I honestly love the show and it has brought so many good things to my life. I could get sappy, but I'll save it and I won't. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, my mini hiatus. I am a HUGE reader. I have read multiple series multiple times, its one of the things in my life that I really enjoy. Considering how much fan-fiction I read/write that probably isn't very surprising for you all. But! I have always been into a few large series, such as the entire Mortal Instruments franchise (though the fan-fiction of that on this website is so, so fucked up.) and Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, things like that. 

Anyway. I decided that I was going to re-read some of the Mortal Instruments books recently due to a finale book for the Dark Artifices series and a COMPLETELY NEW SERIES COMING OUT FOCUSING ON MY CANON GAY BABIES!!! (You can probably see how much I love this franchise) But as I started re-reading these books, I stumbled upon some SUPER (the TMI fandom is pretty old) old fan-fiction I read in the last few years. I suddenly remembered why I started writing in the first place, both fan-fiction ad my own , original works. This fandom. Cassandra Clare (author) had this amazing writing style which is the thing that got me into writing in the first place, so I am officially back into TMI. 

This means that there will be more fandoms on this account, rather than just Voltron. I may change my name as well to my more used, less fandom based name that I have had on my Wattpad for a while. Anyway. All of this aside, I just wanted to tell you guys why I have been gone and update you on some changes that will be happening soon. 

Love you all, Simon.


	8. chat 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get something out cause im feeling good with Voltron rn. anyway. this is 100% copy and paste from my discord chat. speaking of. would it be fun to make a discord server with all you? or do I not have enough regular readers for that. 
> 
> Let me know!!!

_{ **cawcawmotherfucker** has changed the chat name to **deep discussions with pidge!**!}  
 **7:78 A.M**_

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : okay but scientifically what is the significance of toes. Why are they here. Why have we been blessed with these strange yet beautiful lumps of bone and muscle

**Lancelot** : wait wtf you have bones in yours???????

**Lancelot** : god never gave me toe bones………..

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : oh! Such a tragedy. You are truly missing out.

**Lancelot** : I knwo……..

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : hmmmmmmmmmmm

**Depresso** : lance please

**Lancelot** : pwwease

**Holtage** : ecks dee

**Lancelot** : eggs b

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : I want someone to whisper something to me in Dothraki then fucking cuddle me is that too much to fucking ask

**Lancelot** : maybe?????

**Lancelot** : depends on the phrase you want

**Depresso** : a little bit

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : damb

**Lancelot** : it’s a fucking made up language what do u rlly expect

**Lancelot** : personally…… having someone scream a Russian phrase adn then actually chucking me off a balcony? That. Is a realistc expectation

**Holtage** : lol haha

**Lancelot** : shtu up

**Lancelot** : were being quirky

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : I JUST WANT SOMEINE TO WHISPER “LONG LIVE THE KING” AND JUST::: CUDDLE ME WHY IS THIS SOF UCKING DIFFICLUT

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : MY LITTLE GAY ASS NEEDS IT

**Lancelot** : matts opinions are all invalid cause hes playing fortnite………,,,,,,,,

**Lancelot** : shiro I hate it here

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : don’t worry I hate you more

**Lancelot** : youre the reason I lie awayke at night

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : awe that’s so romantic

**Lancelot** : I didn’t Finish:::::::

**Lancelot** : youre the reason I lie awake at night cryign and wishing I didn’t exist

**Lancelot** : I had like 1 typo

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : AWE THAT’S SO ROMNATIC

**Lancelot** : shtu up! I have a comrade!!!!

**Lancelot** : silly nerd……..

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : I will steal ir cumrag

**Cawcawmotherfucker** : don’t make me take ur fingers bitch

**Lancelot** : youll steal ny cumrag or youll steal it, cumrage

**Lancelot** : rag

**Lancelot** : wtf

**Lancelot** : cumrage……..

_{ **cawcawmotherfucker** has changed their name to **cumrage**!}_

**Cumrage** : okay ill eat them then.

**Cumrage** : I need smthn to munch anyway

**Lancelot** : how thhe fukc would I eat ass without fingers!!

**Lancelot** : stupid nerd….. you may not need fingers but I do

**Cumrage** : WHY WOULD YOU NEED FINGERS TO EAT ASS

**Lancelot** : TO HOLD IT OPEN!!

**Lancelot** : ESTUPIDO!!!!

**Cumrage** : USE UR TOES U STUPID BISEXUAL

**Lancelot** : IM. NOT THST FLEXIABLE!!!!!! OKYA!!!!!!?!?! IS THTA OKYA WITH U??!?!?!

**Cumrage** : NO. U MUST B E N D TO EAT

**Cumrage** : IF U CANNOT REACH U CANNOT EAT BRÖTHËR

**Lancelot** : stupid nerds be like::::: uwuuwuuwu jsut use yr toes to eat ass!!1!!!11!

**Lancelot** : me, an intellectual: shut the fuck up

_{ **cumrage** has changed their name to **pigeot**!}_

**Pigeot** : “intellectual”

**Pigeot** : bold

**Lancelot** : shut up nred

**Lancelot** : nedr

**Lancelot** : enrd

**Lancelot** : nerd

**Lancelot** : bam

**Pigeot** : take ur time

**Lancelot** : shiro I hat eit here

**Lancelot** : im so tired of calling out for a god who wil never hear me

**Pigeot** : lisp

**Pigeot** : pussy lisp

**Pigeot** : mwah

**Lancelot** : you should bebanned from living

**Pigeot** : I know.

****

**_Deep discussions with pidge!  
10:16 P.M_ **

**Takashit** : what the actual fuck

**SpaceMom** : Watch it, Takashi.

 


	9. chat 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. oh my god. I have been gone for way too long. I am so very sorry. anyway. I kind of stepped away from the fandom for a while, partially because of school and things like that. also struggling to catch up on BNHA only to find out that season 4 doesn't come out until April so I have like forever and a year to watch season 3. anyway. enough blabber. heres a short chapter that I wrote half of like. 4 weeks ago and I kinda hate it but I needed to post something so.

**_Deep discussions with pidge!  
10:16 P.M_ **

**Takashit** : what the actual fuck

 **SpaceMom** : Watch it, Takashi.

 **Takashit** : sorry, Krolia. what the legitimate fuck

 **SpaceMom** : My children are so disrespectful.

 **Pigeot** : who has seen my girlfriend

 **Pigeot** : and my brother.

 **Takashit** : that’s concerning, Pidge. You never ask for Matt.\

 **Holtage** : but im here now. What is it pigeon.

 **Pigeot** : hold on, I need allura here too. Keith. Can I do this or will u get in trouble.

 **Depresso** : you’re not a minor. Ill be fine. Go ahead.

 **Lancelot** : excuse me…

 **LesbeHonest** : im here, Pidge.

 **Pigeot** : okay,,, so keith

 **Lancelot** : keith what

 **Pigeot** : fuck it. Keith gave me a tattoo

 **Holtage** : that’s boring pidge, I have like 6.

 **Pigeot** : excuse me

 **Takashit** : you didn’t know that?

 **Takashit** : he got like 3 of them before college. Keith gave him one of the newer ones

 **Depresso** : it was kinda like yours, pidge. Just less family orientated.

 **Holtage** : what can I say. I hate you all. I bet this fucking nerd got like holt in binary or something.

 **Pigeot** : can you maybe not go through my messages, matt. I know where you keep your nudes ill get shiro to leak them

 **Holtage** : shiro wouldn’t do that, he loves me too much.

 **Takashit** : im also terrified of your sister. I spent 3 years with her. I know better than to defy her.

 **Holtage** : I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED

 **Pigeot** : chill. I haven’t done it yet. You’ll be fine. So dramatic.

 **Depresso** : idk what my brother sees in you, honestly matt. You’re more dramatic than lance.

 **Lancelot** : that’s debatable.

 **Holtage** : yeah I agree

 **LesBeHonest** : I very highly doubt anyone is more dramatic than Lance. also, Pidge. Get your cute ass over here and you better show me this tattoo because I do not fully trust Keith.

 **Depresso** : hey! Lura what the hell

 **LesBeHonest** : im not sorry. Love you though.

 **Depresso** : yeah yeah. Im gonna eat all your cookies now.

 **LesBeHonest** : don’t you


End file.
